Friday, July 21, 2006

Day Off

Yep, those would be pink camo garden gloves. Pretty cool, huh? One of the many things I plan to do today is a bit of gardening. Later. When it's cooler. Much cooler, I hope!

And there's lots more cleaning to do, and a pie to bake, and laundry to do...It's a busy day off!

Gotta love it.

Thursday, July 20, 2006


I've been listening to Fleetwood Mac in the car on the way to and from work this week. One song in particular really strikes a chord with me lately. It's Landslide, written and performed by Stevie Nicks. Here are the words:

Written by S. Nicks

I took my love, I took it down
I climbed a mountain and I turned around
And I saw my reflection in the snow-covered hills
'Til the landslide brought me down

Oh, mirror in the sky
What is love?
Can the child within my heart rise above?
Can I sail through the changing ocean tides?
Can I handle the seasons of my life?

Well, I've been afraid of changing
'Cause I've built my life around you
But time makes you bolder
Even children get older
And I'm getting older, too

Well, I've been afraid of changing
'Cause I've built my life around you
But time makes you bolder
Even children get older
And I'm getting older, too
Oh, I'm getting older, too

Oh, take my love, take it down
Oh, climb a mountain and turn around
And if you see my reflection in the snow-covered hills
Well, the landslide will bring it down

And if you see my reflection in the snow-covered hills...
Well, the landslide will bring it down
Oh, the landslide'll bring it down

For anyone who is not familiar with this song, Stevie Nicks sings is slowly, deeply, wistfully...all in that amazing voice of hers. I'm not sure why this song resonates within me right now. Might bear some exploring.

A friend who used to correspond with me wrote out the following lyrics in one of his letters as a description of the way he saw love. We were high-school aged at the time, and he was not the type of guy (football player, cuter than anything, with a sexy, hoarse voice) you'd expect to think so deeply about relationships. Maybe women start off on the wrong foot at a young age, seeing men as one-dimensional when it comes to love. If we bought into the battle-of-the-sexes humor about men, we could see them as incapable of love. I guess my friend showed me at a young age just how wrong that would be. I have to remind myself of the lesson from time to time. Anyway, here are the lyrics in question:

You're My Home
by Billy Joel

When you look into my eyes
And you see the crazy gypsy in my soul
It always comes as a surprise
When I feel my withered roots begin to grow

Well, I never had a place that I could call my very own
But that's alright my love,
'Cause your my home

When you touch my weary head
And you tell me ev'rything will be alright
You say use my body for your bed
And my love will keep you warm throughout the night

Well, I'll never be a stranger
And I'll never be alone
Where ever we're together that's my home

Home can be the Pennsylvania Turnpike
Indiana's early morning dew
High up in the hills of California
Home is just another word for you

If I travel all my life
And I never get to stop and settle down
Long as I have you by my side
There's a roof above and good walls all around
You're my castle, you're my cabin and my instant pleasure dome
I need you in my house 'cause you're my home

Why quote these two songs in the same post? I like the juxtaposition of Stevie's song about change against Billy's song about constancy. I can't decide if Stevie's song is about change within the context of her love or change at the cost of her love. Is the landslide taking down her childish self or taking down the love?

So what do you think? Is change the only constant, or can love be constant as well?

Wednesday, July 19, 2006

Not To Be Missed

If you read just one more post at one more blog today, make it One Minute to Midnight over at Joe T.'s Freudian Slips. It's powerfully written and it's well-edited. I admire the craftsmanship as much as I appreciate the content.

Another Day

I remember someone saying once that a friend is someone who gently leads you back to a sense of yourself. I don't remember who said it, but the words have stuck with me for many years. I just googled the quote, but I didn't get any hits. I did find another beautiful quote of a similar nature at

“A friend is someone who knows the song in your heart and can sing it back to you when you have forgotten the words.”

I was about to say that I can't remember how long it's been since I had that kind of a friend, but, actually, I do remember. It's been 17 years, almost to the day. I had a very good friend whom I met at camp over the summer between 8th grade and high school. We were born less than a week apart, so we jokingly called each other, "Twin." She lived a couple of hours away, so we didn't get to see too much of each other during the school year. We loved to write long, girly letters back and forth. I never looked forward to getting mail so much in my life!

We applied to the same college. We were both accepted, but it was out of my league without more financial aid than they offered me, so I went elsewhere. We kept in touch, and we ended up working together back at camp (a one-week conference held each summer, not the camp I've mentioned in other posts).

She married shortly after graduation. I used to visit her for the weekend now and then, and she tried to fix me up with one of her friends. He was a nice guy, and we dated for awhile. He was heartbroken over a previous relationship, so it didn't work out. I met my husband, she disapproved, and we haven't spoken since. Just like that. One phone call, ending in a long silence, before hanging up and never speaking again.

Thing is, she was the one friend I've had who really knew me. Her song was pretty similar to mine, so I guess it was easy for us to keep each other in tune.

I was incredibly shy when I was younger, and sometimes it kept me from seeing that I had any value to my friends. That's not good. You have to know your importance to others in order to step up to the plate when they need a friend. You have to recognize that they need you. I should have told my Twin that I wouldn't accept the silence between us, and that she had to be at my wedding because we needed each other. We both would have grown through it.

It's hard to find that kind of friendship now - it's too late. Most people my age already have those friends, established long ago when baggy clothes and big hair were in style. No one I know now could tell you the first thing about who I was in 1987. Or 77 or 67. Well, my Mom could, but she's starting to get some of that stuff wrong. Even my sister and brother couldn't offer much insight.

So why does it matter so much to me today? I guess it's just that today was the kind of day when I could have used a very old, very dear friend to make me snap out of it. Don't know if it's just the blues (I honestly don't get them too often), or a new wrinkle on my mighty-fine mid-life crisis, or hormones with a capital H. Today I feel truly insignificant and unaccomplished, and, more than anything, foolish. I feel like a royal PITA. I tried to just shut up at work and not bother anyone.

Ironically, I found myself supremely annoyed by some of the people around me (if you're reading this, it wasn't you). I couldn't seem to get away from major annoyances. Maybe it was just projection (the attribution of one's own attitudes, feelings, or suppositions to others, per In any event, I usually have better coping skills than I did today. I wanted to leave work, come home, hide under a blanket, have a good cry and sleep until tomorrow. I had a meeting this afternoon, so I couldn't do it.

I guess I just have a sense of loss today. Friendship lost, time lost, talent lost. Self lost - can't find the tune. Yeah, OK, a mid-life crisis. The Blues. Hormones with a capital H. Tomorrow will be better; I'll probably reread this and think, "How maudlin!" and unpost it. After all, tomorrow is another day...

Red Flower

I took a quiz over at to see what color flower I am. Here is the final result (oh my stars!):

You Are a Red Flower

A red flower tends to represent power, seduction, and desire.
At times, you are loving like a red tulip.
And at other times, you're very enthusiastic, like a bouvardia.
And more than you wish, your passion is a bit overwhelming, like a red rose.

Sunday, July 16, 2006

Summer Entertaining

We had a wonderful time at Pax's soiree last night, and we're planning a little do of our own for next weekend. It'll be a casual affair, with cocktails and good food. We'll be inside and outside, whatever the moment brings (not to mention the weather). I've planned the gathering to start in the late afternoon/early evening, because there will be plenty of shade on the back deck by then. We're not going to barbecue because we really like the people we've invited, and we want to spend time with them! I plan to have all of the food prepared before the guests arrive, so that we may enjoy the party too.

I've been shopping and preparing, and, true to my sorry nature, I'm beginning to panic just a little. Help me out, if you don't mind! What are the essential ingredients to a good party, in your opinion? Do you have any suggestions for easy entertaining and food preparation? Any secret recipes that drive your guests wild? Is there anything that I must not forget to do/serve/provide/prepare?

Any and all suggestions will be greatly appreciated. If you're in the neighborhood, stop on by!