Saturday, January 14, 2006

Pear, er....PAIR of Kids

Since their first child, a daughter, is named Apple, it's impossible to avoid speculation that the second, regardless of sex, will be named Pear.

I'm sure they're fine pearents.

Er, pairents.



MissMagnoliaThunderpussy said...

Kumquat, Guava, Avacado, Watermelon, Kiwi, Prune, Grapefruit, Darling, the possibilities are endless. Of course, if they name her "Honey Dew" she'll end up swinging her tits over the orchestra pit in a burlesque house.

Maidink said...

I often wonder if that is the child's real name. I mean, I think that most of the dumbass names these stars come up with today aren't the same ones inked on the birth certificates. No one can be that openly stupid. They probably just throw the first word they think of out to the press:

Chris: Well, the papers really want to know the baby's name. She we tell them about our little Emily Seraphina?

Gwyneth: Oh for Christ's sake! I just pushed a friggin watermelon out of my twizzle and those idiots want a name?!

Chris: Um, okay. You're stressed. I dig it. What do you want me to do?

Gwyneth: F*ck them. Tell them we names the baby Apple. That'll shut their pieholes for a few days.

Chris: (under his breath) Yeah, until late night talk show hosts get a hold of that name

Gwyneth: WHAT DID YOU SAY?!?

Chris (smiling): Nothing, nothing dear. Apple it is.

Merci said...

With celebrity parents, she might end up in burly-cue anyway! And if these parents are prolific, they could end up with quite a bowl of fruit...

You might be right. And you said it so very well!

Seriously, you both have me laughing so hard that I had to run for the bathroom

Tony said...

Not to sound like a butt, however just ASSUMING she'll name her kid pear is like comparing apples and oranges!


Merci said...

It would be even funnier if she named it something ordinary. The Martin girls, ages 12 and 10: "Hi, my name's Apple, and this is my sister Karen."

Joe Tornatore said...

talk about fruit of your loin.

Virginia Gal said...

Lord the puns running fast and furious over this one.
Where is your mother in all of this : )