Tuesday, April 04, 2006

To Miss Magnolia

In a comment on my post below, Miss Magnolia Thunderpussy offered the following:

"I've always wanted to take dear Pax for an outing at the bitch but we've abandoned the idea, I can't walk in the sand, in heels and the wheels of Pax's chair would get tangled in all the seaweed."

Here is my reply:

Miss Magnolia-

It's hard enough to walk in the sand, let alone to push one of those rolling chairs through it. Perhaps a trip to the Wildwood Boardwalk would be a better alternative. You could ride up and down the boards in the luxury of the tram. No need to fear for the safety of the pedestrians, since they play the recorded message, "Watch the tram car please, watch the tram car please." In fact, they play it over and over and over, ad infinitum.


The Atlantic City boardwalk offers rolling chairs pushed (for a fee) by entrepreneurial types. The rolling chairs give you more freedom to choose your destination, and they offer a bit more privacy.

Failing both of the above, Mr. M and I could power a surrey on the Ocean City Boardwalk that would enable the two of you to tour in style. The model at the top of the page has enough room for crinolines and oxygen tanks, but the model pictured here is available if you desire the romance of the pretty little surrey with the fringe on top.

So you see, the Jersey Shore can accomodate ladies and gentleman of leisure. There is no need ever to dip so much as a little toe into the sand or the ocean.


MissMagnoliaThunderpussy said...

Darling, how sweet of you to find an alternate mode of transportation for our day at the beach, your taking the time from your hectic life to do this has moved me, in ways I thought only "Imodium" could, I think anyone of the above will be just fine in fact, we plan to try them all. Of course dear, I'll have to bring bungee cords to attach Pax's wheelchair and I'll have to strap him in good, I'd be just mortified if he fell off the Boardwalk and we lost him. Ooh, It sounds like such a fun outing, I'm all giddy with anticipation!

Merci said...

Miss Magnolia-

You haven't lived until you've had Boardwalk Fries and Ike's Famous Crabcakes. I suggest Kohr's frozen custard and funnel cake for dessert, with a box of salt water taffy to take home. I recommend using the taffy to decorate the holiday tree, since it's not really fit for consumption.

And may I also suggest the photo booth to commemorate your special day? See, I can be your tour guide par exemplar.

MissMagnoliaThunderpussy said...

Darling, it sounds just wonderful, I've always wanted to visit the boardwalk in Atlantic City but I will pass on the Salt Water Taffy, I did try it once (a gift sent to me) and was not impressed. Afterwards, we shoild all do Coney Island!