Tonight is surely the buggiest night since prehistory, nay, since the dawn of time. It is in my backyard, at any rate.
I just took the oldest hound out for her evening constitutional. She can't see anymore, and she can't navigate the two steps from the door to the ground, so I must carry her out into the yard. I can officially report that all of the insects have left the woods tonight to congregate on my back door. It's a veritable bugs' ball out there, and the toad patrol is missing in action once again! Not that they'd be very effective at climbing the door to get to these big bugs, but any help would be appreciated. I suspect the toads have been overwhelmed and carried away by the masses of giant insects creeping and flying around out there. I had to use a broom to sweep off the door before I could open it to come back into the house. The other dog had to go out, too, but he was on his own. I sent him out unescorted. He can make it down the steps on his own, so no way in tarnation was I going out there with him.
In spite of loving nature and the woods, I am an insufferable coward when it comes to most insects. I love my dragonflies and lady beetles, and I can tolerate most other creepy crawlies when they keep their distance. When they invade my space, I cry for mercy. I hope I didn't wake the neighbors.
If it were not for the potential for insect invasion, I could probably live alone in contentment. As it stands, if I lived by myself, I'd probably be found mummified in a corner some day, kept at bay by an errant wasp or spider. So now you know the quality I value most in a man: the ability to efficiently and effectively eliminate any and all insect visitors from the household as soon as my first scream for help is issued. A willingness to handle all outside tasks (like taking the dogs out) on buggy nights is a highly desired optional feature (one that wasn't functional tonight). Quite the job description, no?